Among dogs, we at Critter Club are known as the Dog Rock Gods.

Revered by the Sydney Canine Set as without doubt the best in the business bar none, Critter Club is the pack to be seen in.

You, as a human and unable to talk dog, may think you cannot verify this. While we understand that you, the mere mortal, are most likely unable to nuance a bark, let us interpret for you the meeting of dog and Critter Club.

The scene: behind closed doors, Eastern Suburbs, Sydney.

A lone dog stares forlornly at the firmly sealed exit to his abode. He gets up, checks the time, checks the calendar. Tuesday 11AM. My time. “Where are those bitches?” (By that he means manchester terrier Twiggy, labrador Baci, and maltese x silky Jemima NOT the Dog Rock Gods.)

Suddenly, nose in the air, tail slapping the floor at a billion miles an hour “they’re coming, I can smell them” (this is all about the dog’s extraordinary smelling ability – the Dog Rock Gods do not smell. Focus).

Minutes later the door bursts open and all is right in the world. Conniptions from both dog and Dog Rock Gods, for they too are ecstatic to see their friend. They skip to the Famous Critter Club Dog Bus and our previously anxious hero, joyously greets his friends. They have so much to chat about having not seen each other for a full 24 hours but first, the mandatory bum sniff. Good heavens, Rex seems to have changed to an organic diet!

Pretty soon the Dog Rock Gods have picked up the whole pack, smoothly negotiated the treacherous Sydney traffic, and contentedly pulled into the park. The ecstasy continues with a full hour of running, sniffing, chasing, hiding, rolling, kissing and cuddling.

The ride back is less animated, lolling all over each other, contentedly napping.

Home again and happily off to his own bed.

The Dog Rock God’s work here is done.

Critter Club … Dog Walkers Extraordinaire.

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